My cousin’s husband went to the doctor with pain in his legs. He was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer Christmas Day. He passed away January 26th – barely a month later. I started writing this article several days ago to answer another person’s question about life and health and crossing over. I knew he wasn’t good, but I thought he had a bit more time. So, it is with a stunned heart that I post this article for you. I hope it brings you understanding and comfort.
The time of a person’s passing can be a time of great mystery. Why is it, some people have a slight illness and pass away and others endure horrific health issues for many years? Isn’t it odd that people are struck down in their prime while others live a long and generous life?
I believe that we all have “Exit Points” along the way. Our soul has the opportunity to choose out or to choose in. The human will may wish to perish, but the soul can endure a great deal before it releases the breath of life. The human being may wish to live, but the soul has completed all that it came here to do so it is ready to return to “All That Is.”
So, what is an Exit Point? An Exit Point is a moment given to the soul to choose. That moment of choice can look like a near-miss accident or a serious health issue. It could be one of those experiences that leave us feeling like we are very lucky to be alive. Ever had one of those? More like, how MANY of those have you experienced?
Those Exit Points have a powerful spiritual significance. Often our destiny has been fulfilled (at least as far as the soul is concerned) or we have achieved some measure of success or acceptance, or we have been stuck in a pattern from which we are ready to be released. If the soul chooses to remain in this life-line/time-line, then it experiences a “Living Reincarnation” wherein it accepts a new destiny or a new focus for life.
That means that the things that may have been of primary importance no longer matter or don’t matter to the same level of interest. We get to take the lessons already learned and move beyond where we are into a more enriched experience of life with a greater spiritual significance. This gives the soul a re-birth of sorts without having to go through the dying process and infancy in a new life (for those who embrace the concept of reincarnation).
How do you know what to do with that Exit Point experience. The soul knows what it is ready to receive, know, and do . . .even if you don’t!
About a year and a half ago, I experienced an Exit Point. It wasn’t an accident or an illness, but it was powerfully life changing none-the-less! I was resting and realized I wasn’t breathing. I wasn’t afraid. I didn’t feel the need to draw a breath. It was very peaceful.
A visual of Phil and our pets and our grandchildren appeared in my consciousness. A voice said to me, “Are you willing to live them?”
I said, “Yes, I am.”
The voice said, “Then breathe deeply.”
I did. And feel back into a deep sleep.
Sometime later, I awoke to realize that, again, I wasn’t breathing. I still felt wrapped in a peaceful state of being.
I was shown The Divine Fellowship building and it’s people. The voice now said, “Are you willing to live for these?”
I said, “Yes, I am.”
The voice said, “Then breathe deeply.”
I did. And feel back into a deep sleep.
I don't know how much time passed when I awakened again to know that the breath of life was still within me, though I wasn’t inhaling nor exhaling at that moment. Like my world was suspended. Peace still accompanied me.
A voice again asked me if I was willing to live for a specific purpose. I cannot remember what I was asked. As I remember back, I recall feeling a sense of anticipation.
Again, I agreed to live.
The voice then revealed to me that there would be challenges with this new life and asked, “Are you willing to accept these challenges along with this new purpose?”
I said, “Yes, I am.”
The voice said,“Then breathe deeply.”
As I breathed again, I could feel the normal rhythm of life’s breath return to me and I drifted off into a restful and relaxed sleep. Sometimes I think I expereince these things so that I can share them with others so we all can have a greater understanding of who we are spiritually.
When I awoke again, I felt fine and recalled the experience clearly – all except the third request. I figure the soul knows and with God’s help will direct my journey to fulfillment. There have been challenges already on this path, along with some great blessings.
If you have experienced an Exit Point, rest easy, knowing that your soul has chosen to carry you further in this life and to bless you with new experiences and opportunities for love and joy.
If you haven’t experienced an Exit Point yet, rest easy knowing that now you will know what it’s all about and can face the experience with the power of the soul fully aware and armed with hope and positive anticipation.
An Exit Point is a gift from God as it offers the soul a release of this life and its challenges and struggles. Choosing in or choosing out grants us great blessings either way the soul decides. We can allow others their journey even if we would hold on to them longer in this life. We miss them. However, their soul is fulfilling its destiny. The soul will override our personal preferences for life or death. The soul knows its truth and journeys into love and light whether it chooses to remain or chooses to cross over into spiritual realms.
|
| 25 Years Together! |
Phil and I will celebrate our 25th Wedding Anniversary this Firday, December 9th. It seems like just yesterday and like it's been forever at the same time.
We've had our ups and downs and our all arounds. I don't think we have anything any more magical than anyone else. I do think God has blessed us with incredible steadfastness when it would have been easier to bail out. I also feel God blessed us with a couple of experiences that were anchor points to our relationship that held us together even when we were in total disagreement over something.
One such experience, I shared about last Sunday at The Divine Fellowship. I'll share it briefly with you now.
In my past, others had gone out of their way to make me feel bad and look bad - especially when it was a public situation. After Phil and I had been together about 4 or 5 years, a circumstance came up that FELT to me like the same situation again and I flipped out and went ballistic on Phil. He gently placed his hands on my shoulders and tenderly said, "Honey, this is not my stuff."
He doesn't really remember saying that. He remembers how flipped out I was and how I shifted, but he doesn't really remember the words that came out of his mouth. Guided perhaps?
I knew, in that instant, that Phil's love for me was beyond question. He would never willingly hurt me. If my feleings were hurt, it was because there was a misunderstanding or he didn't realize he had done something to upset me. He held my feelings with tender care.
We've certainly had our misunderstandings and our hurt feelings between us. Yet that truth remained. It sometimes took me a little while to remember it or see it, but it was always there. So even when we were on opposite sides of the fence, I could know that anything he said or did was coming from an honorable place in his heart. I may have some educating to do to help him understand what his actions may mean to me as a person, but he never would hurt me intentionally. He had to help me understand some things, too!
That gave me a glimpse at God's love for me.
When bad stuff happens, it isn't because God doesn't like me or punishes me or removes his favor from me. Unlike Phil and I who have had to learn a few things over the years, God knows already who we are and what we are and brings stuff to us to help us grow and develop into the people He knows us to be!
Just recently, I had a client who came into my office very distraught because there had been a huge argument between her and a neighbor and it escalated to include the landlord. She went out and found a new place to live right after that. She'll be moving into the new place in just a couple of months. It's perfect for her! Lots of light coming in and very good location. She hadn't realized that the argument pushed her to go looking! She realized that she just happened to be at the right place at the right time to find the new location!! If she hadn't gone when she did, it would have been taken by someone else.
This brough a new awareness of a loving God who guided her into a new place that served her much better than her old location. Though she was hurt by the event, she could see the value of the event and release the hurt! It was the motivating factor! Sometimes we are only motivated when things are crappy rather than happy! If someone had suggested she move, she'd have said she was okay where she was. She had every intent of staying there for at least another year!
We forget how much we are loved! We forget that everything happens for a reason! We get caught up in the hurt of a painful event and forget the message behind the experience.
Yes, it can be a bit tricky to see - especially when we've got our feelings all wrapped up in it.
There were times I though Phil was a totally mean person who didn't care a thing about me. Until I stopped and remembered the truth of it - he would NEVER inentionally hurt me. Then I could move through the pain and into a place where I either got over it, negotiated a change, or brought it up until it was resolved or moved through. My choice whether I chose to be upset or not.
One time Phil said something that REALLY smacked me. It was true and it needed to be said, and maybe he didn't say it in a way that was uplifting at the time, so I cried. He said, "What are you crying about?" (Not in a kind, loving way) I knew I was not in a place to talk about it without my hurt blinding my spirit, so I said, "I'm having an emotion and you need to let me have it right now." I wasn't using tears to punish him, but they were an honest expression of the feeling. After the hurt passed, I could tell him clearly what happened with me as a result of his words. I don't thing very many of us can speak our truth when our feelings get in the way. Those feelings are mine and mine alone. He didn't make them or cause them. Something in ME did. I get to figure that out. If it was a disrespectful way in which he spoke to me then I get to address that - when I'm calm and my feelings are felt and honored and released! If his perceptions of a situation were inaccurate, I get to clarify that. If he is expressing his hurt feelings in a not-so-loving way, I get to look at that and see if I can help mend the heartache between us.
I hear people argue when they are hopping mad and that doesn't resolve anything - just makes matters worse! I can't hear you when you are yelling! The louder you get the less I can hear! I feel more loudly and hurt more deeply is all that happens.
I know Phil really tries to speak to me his truth with kindness. Doesn't always make it, but he really tries. That counts for a lot in my book. My biggest issue is speaking up at all - I tend to hold it in and pretend it's all okay and it's not. I'm learning to do it differently.
His truth isn't always the same as my truth, either.
I guess the other thing that really helps us survive each other is that neither one of us has to be right. We agree on a lot of things, but not on all things. I don't have to give up my opinion or viewpoint. I can be my own unique person without being a Phil-clone. When we disagree, it's not the end of the world. He's not wrong, I'm not right - we just disagree. If we can get past the judgment that the other person's an idiot, we do really well.
I wish I could remember the day I gave up having to be right. There should have been a ticker tape parade! Followed by a 21 gun salute when I figured out the other peson doesn't have to be wrong. I don't always remember that, but when I do, it's really beautiful!
So, if Phil and I can make it just a few more days, we'll celebrate that 25th anniversary. I am glad we figured some things out and learned how to fight fair, and I hope we have another 25 - hopefully not as difficult as the first 25! There has been a lot of turmoil and difficulty. He has changed careers more than a couple times as have I. We've had business failures and family issues, and the death of both sets of parents. A little easier would sure be a welcome change! I look forward to 25 years of FUN!!
|
| Quilt by Jan Billings |
A dear friend of mine, Jan Billings, quilted me a Halloween themed blanket several years ago. Each Halloween, I bring it out to enjoy and tuck it safely away after the holiday.
The quilt sports bright and cheerful colors along with the little spooky faces and googly eyes - so much fun to look at. My granddaughter and I snuggle in while I read her a story or watch cartoons together . . . well, she watches cartoons and I enjoy the snuggle time.
I love this quilt because the individual blocks are fun and fit together into such a wonderful whole. My husband, Phil, is so impressed with it, that he took it to work with him today to show the office crew.
I think I like the green spiderwebs and the ghosties best.
The wonderful thing about a quilt is how all the pieces are so very different and yet they all fit together. How nice when we can create a like-minded group like that. Like-minded doesn't mean we think exactly alike or that we know the same things or can process a situation the same. It means that we can acknowledge our differences as ok instead of a threat. The ghosties in the quilt would be less cute if the green cobwebs weren't there as a stand-out contrast.
If we get caught up in thinking that everyone has to think like me and feel like me we miss out on the beauty of the contrast and our own uniqueness. Fading into the herd isn't an option! You have a unique destiny and a unique spirit and you are the only one like you in the whole world. Stop trying to fit in and allow yourself to feel safe and secure in your own skin - where ever you are and what ever company you find yourself within.
You are a piece of the cosmic quilt! You are stitched into a place where you can do the best for uplifing human kind to its highest and best good. Be bright and shiny and be aware of your own value to the whole. If nothing else, you can always find something funny around you to be joyful about! Silly cobwebs!
I am truly grateful for the opportunity to share some thoughts, feeligs, and experiences with you!!! It's really funny (or not) how my intent to post some writings for you got pushed to the background for weeks!
Here's what happened . . . (This is a tribute to the old saying "be careful what you wish for!!")
In my recent Dream Quest class, I shared a process by which we "activate" drinking water with our intent so our bodies begin to resonate with the word or concept we infuse into the water. As the participants stated their intent, I totally identified with one person's intent for "Joyous Fulfillment" so I labeled my water with those words. We did the infusion process and then my world really shifted!!!
Now first I must tell you that I had been dragging my feet about finishing some articles that I'd started for your benefit, along with a summer newsletter and the start of my second book. By writing "Joyous Fulfillment" I EXPECTED that I would joyfully finish those projects.
Weeeellllll . . . the very next day, I got a wild bug to clean my home office. After six months of writing my book, it had turned into a real pit. I felt like one of the hoarders you see on tv with hardly a path to walk through. And oh, just forget about getting into the storage closet in that room! After one whole day, I got a car load of stuff out of my office. Some were things that needed finishing up (imagine that) so I could give them to the grandkids and some were things that needed to be cleaned and put away, and some was stuff I realized I'd never use and I was ready to release.
For the next week, I worked on that office. My husband Phil took some time off to help me move my big L-shaped desk with a glass top. The file cabinet I moved myself. He helped with the bookcase. I went through all my books - some were books people had loaned to me that I needed to return, some were books that I had given to my parents and I had to decide whether to keep them or let them go. (I kept them.) Others were books I thought were interesting or might have some interest, but hadn't had a chance to read. I figured someone else could use them as I hadn't taken the time yet. I probably wouldn't take the time to read them, so a big box went to a charity store and a big box went to church.
After that project got done, I could reach the closet, so that got cleaned out and organized. (SHEESH!! Like, WOW!!!)
Between scrubbing my kitchen floor on my hands and knees (I don't really do that sort of thing any more - maybe when I was in my early 20's!!) helping Phil paint the deck and reorganizing my own closet, my house looks pretty good! I only have one more place in the house that is a pit and that's the laundry room. So far (Thank goodness!!) I haven't been "inspired" to go through that space. (at least not yet!)
I had expected focused energy on a summer newsletter and articles for you, but my soul needed a clean living space. I guess we get what we need, not necessarily what we think we need!
I must admit, being a Virgo and liking everything to have a place and everything to be in it's place, it is nice to look around and not see so much clutter. I didn't realize how dibilitating clutter was to my soul. It wore me out to just look at it. My soul feels more relaxed. I wore myself out getting the job done, but it feels good to get the tasks completed.
Funny thing, I didn't know that the clutter was an issue until I tackled it. I didn't realize I wanted the unfinished decisions worked through until I'd worked through them. My soul knew. Spirit knew. I may have had no conscious idea, yet now that I can sit down to work in a clean open space, my heart sings with joy. (Okay, only a fellow Virgo might understand that feeling) Looking at my bookcase and seeing books that have been old friends and new friends standing ready to serve me makes me glad. Knowing that the other books that had been crammed in are gone and off to serve others. The slips of paper and notes that were wedged between the books have been filed away and that makes my heart glad.
There won't be an "It is finished" even with my last breath, but at least I can breathe freely now.
Why do we hang on to stuff we don't need, want, or will never use? Why do we hang on to friendships that no longer serve? Why do we clutter our lives with promises to ourselves and others that we will not, or cannot fulfill? I guess our human nature urges us to hang on rather than let go. Sometimes that's really good because great treasures and relationships of value are worth hanging onto.
Yet, the soul knows when it's time to release and when it's time to hang on. The trick is giving ourselves the opportunity to see the opportunity! One way or the other.
Phil and I (along with a couple of friends) had the opportunity to clear a business office recently. The office used to be the lockup facility for troubled youth headed for juvenal court. It served in that capacity for years. Toward the end, the funding ran short and the staff got cut to bare bones. The energy felt heavy, trapped, lost, and dismal. This building has now been repurposed to house kids that need a safe haven when they cannot go home. The new staff members really have a heart to help these young people through some really hard times.
As we cleared the heavy energy out of there, the place brightened up and felt more safe and secure. It felt like a home away from home rather than a place of punhishment and sorrow. We walked through open areas and room after room with sage, candles, a bell, and a drum. We said prayers to release the negative energy and prayers to invite love, light, joyfulness and safety in. One of our helpers was a young guy about 13 or 14. He was very gentle with the drum until we gave him permission to cut loose and really make some noise. He did!! It blased old, stagnant energy right out of there!
As we were leaving, I saw two - maybe three angels come in to the space. One at the front door to comfort and calm those that entered. One who stayed at the front desk area focusing on the accountant's desk so that funding could be found and managed well. Another came in to walk through the main area and would go where ever it was needed. I saw a man enter one woman's office and was told that her husband had recently passed away. I know he was there to comfort her and encourage her so she could do her best for those who needed her so much.
Talk about "Joyous Fulfillment"!!! It was such a blessing to be a blessing. Last I heard, the space continues to emanate peace and joy! How cool is that!
So, as "Joyous Fulfillment" urges me on to the next project, I am truly delighted that time and opportunity opened for us to reconnect. Thanks for not letting go of me!! May you find Joyous Fulfillment in all that you do!
Phil made me go shopping the other day. I am not one to enjoy shopping, so the process usually requires either coertion or urgent necessity. The result of that shopping trip was several tops and a bright yellow sweater.
Since the weather is still chilly here, I wore the sweater the next day. As I was opening the drawer to put it away, I flashed on the very first item of clothing I purchased with baby-sitting money - it was a bright yellow sweater. I remember not liking the color much. I was into beige back in high school. Blend in. Don't stand out. Stay invisible. However, it was on sale and I could afford it, and I really needed a sweater.
I know I told my mom I was cold alot when I was younger, but with her ramped up, over the top thyroid condition, she was always running full bore and never knew what cold was. I don't think she owned a heavy coat. So, I stopped mentioning that I was cold and just dealt with it. Once I brought this loud yellow sweater home, I wore it all the time. Mom asked me if I really liked that color. I don't remember saying that I did, but I do remember commenting that it felt so good to finally be warm.
As I put my new yellow sweater into the drawer, it dawned on me that every birthday since that day, she bought me a new sweater. She'd always ask me if I wanted one, and I always said, "Yes! Please!"
I think my mother made every effort to make amends for not acknowledging my feelings. I never put two and two together to understand that. I remember thinking that her suggestion for a sweater was really thoughtful as she never wore them.
Too funny. Our experiences of life while we are young is so different than when we look back on childhood experiences from the eyes of an adult. At least the compassionate eyes of someone on a spiritual path. Those painful experiences can be healed when we look at them differently. Instead of feeling that my mother never cared for me or didn't care that I was cold, I could realize that she wasn't cold and couldn't understand me from her point of view. Even my words of "I'm cold." fell on deaf ears not because she didn't care, but because she didn't understand.
When we apply compassionate understanding to others' inability to understand, our understanding deepens. Did that make sense?
So, now that yellow sweater feels warm to my skin and sweet to my soul! How cool is that?!?
Within 24 hours of this experience, my cousin sent me pictures of the old family archives. My grandparents, and great grandparents and my mom and dad and us cousins when we were young. What a trip down memory lane! To make the whole experience even MORE wonderful, I had another amazing experience at the funeral of a friend's mother.
Her mother lived in Yakima, and the church was the church that my family had been members of many, many years ago. I asked for a tour of the building with the minister and as he was showing me around, he led me to a "founders" wall that had documents and photos from when the church was first established in Yakima. I saw the first building they met in and there was a photo of the next building that my grandfather (on my dad's side) helped to build.
As I looked at the accompanying documents, I saw my dad's signature and the date he was baptized. Above his name was his mother's name and the date she placed her membership there - 1940. On the page next to that was an even older document also placed lovingly in a frame upon the wall. I recognized the scratchy handwriting of my grandfather on my mothers side. He signed for himself and his wife and two of his daughters - my mom and her sister, Doris. The date on that document was 1937. I saw the names of friends my mother used to talk about.
It was an honor to know that their names were written down and maintained all these years. It was like touching a piece of my own heritage. May family was full of faith and dedication. I didn't always agree with them and they didn't always agree with each other, but their names revealed their choice to be a part of something special.
What really rocks my boat is that I heard CLEARLY three times before I left the house that day to take my camera. I laughed each time and told God that I didn't need a camera at a memorial service. At the time, I didn't realize the service would be held in the church that my family joined so many long years ago.
It's one thing to hear and its another thing to listen. I wished I had listened!! I guess I get to go back another day - with my camera!
So, my ancestors are laughing right now, I'm sure! I think I got stubborness from BOTH sides of the family!! Thank goodness God has a sense of humor, too. I'm glad that I can reflect upon my childhood experiences with a new perspective and I'm glad for that new insight about the yellow sweater.